Yes! That's why I am headed to Denver, Colorado in two weeks to try out for "So you think you can dance". I am scared shitless. Just typing this up is giving me butterflies. My routine is so high energy...and when I get the adrenalin rush...I'm worried I'm going to over dance it.
AAAGH! Anyway, I will be sure to take pictures and tell everyone how it went. I am going with two of my super talented employees who also think they can dance.
Do I think I'll make it to Vegas? No. I am the type of dancer who is good at everything and great at nothing. But when I'm old and gray...I wanna say I did it all :)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Burning Bridges
If there is anything I have learned the past 5 years, it is that sucess comes by hard work, dedication, and just saying what you mean and meaning what you say. But I believe there is one other element to sucess.
Don't burn bridges! So many people in my past have pissed me off, ripped me off, didn't believe in me, or flat out didn't like me as a person. Guess what? I didn't burn bridges with any of those people. I may say things that put people off...and those people decide to cut ties with me. That's fine...but you know what? I still invite them to every single event I have. I still go when invited, and I always say kind things about them to everyone I meet...even if I don't mean it.
Those people have in some way or another played key roles in developing business, learning new trades, and comforting me when I fall.
If you want to be a sucess in life, business, and family...start building the bridges and don't let anymore burn.
Anyway, that's my two cents for today.
Have a great week!
Don't burn bridges! So many people in my past have pissed me off, ripped me off, didn't believe in me, or flat out didn't like me as a person. Guess what? I didn't burn bridges with any of those people. I may say things that put people off...and those people decide to cut ties with me. That's fine...but you know what? I still invite them to every single event I have. I still go when invited, and I always say kind things about them to everyone I meet...even if I don't mean it.
Those people have in some way or another played key roles in developing business, learning new trades, and comforting me when I fall.
If you want to be a sucess in life, business, and family...start building the bridges and don't let anymore burn.
Anyway, that's my two cents for today.
Have a great week!
Friday, February 20, 2009
My night as a lesbian
All of the following would lead one to believe that two women were on a date:
1. Two women at the strip club
2. One woman was paying for the others drinks
3. One woman opened the car door for the other
4. A lipstick kiss was found on the other womans cheek
Well let me explain why all of the above happened to me last night...and I was not on a lesbian date!
1. We went to the strip club to support one of my teachers who is an exotic dancer on the side. She just learned she is pregnant and it was her last night before retiring. I invited my good friend Anji to go along with me. That's why there were two women in the strip club together.
2. I was paying for her drinks because the strip club didn't have an atm...and she didn't have cash. She paid me right back.
3. I am unable to open my car door from the inside. It broke somehow...so I either have to climb out the passenger seat or have someone open the door for me. That's why she was opening my door for me all night!
4. It is customary at the strip club for the dancers to give everyone a kiss on the cheeck after she dances. After the club we went to dinner and I didn't know I had a kiss mark on my face!!! Everyone in the restaurant was giving us strange looks. Anji finally pointed out that the dancer had left a mark!!!
So, to on lookers, we were on a lesbian date. But in reality, it was just a bunch of coincidences that all came together to give me a fun girls night out with a really good friend :)
1. Two women at the strip club
2. One woman was paying for the others drinks
3. One woman opened the car door for the other
4. A lipstick kiss was found on the other womans cheek
Well let me explain why all of the above happened to me last night...and I was not on a lesbian date!
1. We went to the strip club to support one of my teachers who is an exotic dancer on the side. She just learned she is pregnant and it was her last night before retiring. I invited my good friend Anji to go along with me. That's why there were two women in the strip club together.
2. I was paying for her drinks because the strip club didn't have an atm...and she didn't have cash. She paid me right back.
3. I am unable to open my car door from the inside. It broke somehow...so I either have to climb out the passenger seat or have someone open the door for me. That's why she was opening my door for me all night!
4. It is customary at the strip club for the dancers to give everyone a kiss on the cheeck after she dances. After the club we went to dinner and I didn't know I had a kiss mark on my face!!! Everyone in the restaurant was giving us strange looks. Anji finally pointed out that the dancer had left a mark!!!
So, to on lookers, we were on a lesbian date. But in reality, it was just a bunch of coincidences that all came together to give me a fun girls night out with a really good friend :)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Preschool dropout
It was parent day at my daughters pre-school last week. I was heartbroken. My tiny angel didn't participate in one song or game. She was super shy and I was convinced that she hadn't learned anything over the past three months.
By the time I had reached the car I had sworn off the whole pre-school idea. I was sure that she was too young to be in that setting, after all, they had stuck her in a class with 4 year olds (she's only 3)....until she started singing all of the songs she was SUPPOSED to be singing in the classroom. There she is in the back seat of my car "OHHHHH skim-a-mir-ink-a-dink-a-dink skim-a-mir-ink-a-doo I LOVE YOU! I love you in the morning, and in the afternoon....
She had learned something! She just didn't want to show it in front of all of the other parents.
So, I guess we'll be going back to preschool tomorrow :)
By the time I had reached the car I had sworn off the whole pre-school idea. I was sure that she was too young to be in that setting, after all, they had stuck her in a class with 4 year olds (she's only 3)....until she started singing all of the songs she was SUPPOSED to be singing in the classroom. There she is in the back seat of my car "OHHHHH skim-a-mir-ink-a-dink-a-dink skim-a-mir-ink-a-doo I LOVE YOU! I love you in the morning, and in the afternoon....
She had learned something! She just didn't want to show it in front of all of the other parents.
So, I guess we'll be going back to preschool tomorrow :)
Monday, February 16, 2009
A weird Valentine's Day
Okay. So with me, nothing is ever normal...especially the holidays. Here's how my Valentine's Day went:
6:00pm - Couples party at my studio. It included ballroom instruction, lap dancing instruction, and a "prom picture" in our sexy studio bed. We had 14 couples attend.
6:30pm - My husband decides he needs a little liquid courage so he can assist me in teaching the Swing.
7:30pm - We start the photography portion of the evening. I had invisioned each couple climbing into the bed and taking a sweet V-Day photograph. Wrong! The very first couple in the sack was doggy style, in hand cuffs, and he had a neck tie in her mouth and was riding her like a horse!!! Note: all of the couples were fully clothed, but basically dry humping.
7:45pm - My husband interrupts one of the couples photo shoots with his naked ass running around the bed.
7:49pm - My husband tackles me and forces me into bed while basically showing the photographer all of his favorite sex positions.
8:00pm - Everyone decides to hit up a bar for an after party.
11:00pm - I'm totally sober...the husband is totally drunk. He doesn't know it's Valentine's Day...and he's basically hitting on any girl who walks past him.
12:00pm - I've had enough! I tell him that we're leaving. I proceed to the car. He does not follow. I waited in the car for 10 minutes while he's doing god knows what.
12:30pm - Screaming, screaming, and more screaming!!!
1:00pm - He sleeps his butt on the couch.
5:00am - Tries to climb back in bed with me.
5:05am - I push him off the bed.
11:00am - We make up :)
So it's not the ideal Valentine's Day...but it's how we roll here in the Burroughs house. How was everyone elses V Day?
6:00pm - Couples party at my studio. It included ballroom instruction, lap dancing instruction, and a "prom picture" in our sexy studio bed. We had 14 couples attend.
6:30pm - My husband decides he needs a little liquid courage so he can assist me in teaching the Swing.
7:30pm - We start the photography portion of the evening. I had invisioned each couple climbing into the bed and taking a sweet V-Day photograph. Wrong! The very first couple in the sack was doggy style, in hand cuffs, and he had a neck tie in her mouth and was riding her like a horse!!! Note: all of the couples were fully clothed, but basically dry humping.
7:45pm - My husband interrupts one of the couples photo shoots with his naked ass running around the bed.
7:49pm - My husband tackles me and forces me into bed while basically showing the photographer all of his favorite sex positions.
8:00pm - Everyone decides to hit up a bar for an after party.
11:00pm - I'm totally sober...the husband is totally drunk. He doesn't know it's Valentine's Day...and he's basically hitting on any girl who walks past him.
12:00pm - I've had enough! I tell him that we're leaving. I proceed to the car. He does not follow. I waited in the car for 10 minutes while he's doing god knows what.
12:30pm - Screaming, screaming, and more screaming!!!
1:00pm - He sleeps his butt on the couch.
5:00am - Tries to climb back in bed with me.
5:05am - I push him off the bed.
11:00am - We make up :)
So it's not the ideal Valentine's Day...but it's how we roll here in the Burroughs house. How was everyone elses V Day?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Ask a stripper
I had a sit down with one of my "stripper" friends and this is how it went:
Q: What does your husband think of your profession?
A: He loves it! He says it gives him a ego boost to know that he has something that so many men want. He's the only one who knows what it's like to actually sleep with me.
Q: What is your average take home each night you work?
A: It depends on how many dancers are working, what mood I'm in, ect. But on average I make between $150-$200/night for a 7 hour shift. I've heard that dancers actually make more money when they're ovulating.
Q: What are some of the Utah laws and rules for strip clubs and dancers?
A: We can only dance on stage in an alcohol serving bar. All clubs must have front rails to protect the dancer from the customer. We must stay 3 ft away from customers at all times. Pasties must be worn at all times and cover the entire areola. No g-strings.
Q: Do guys ever hit on you?
A: Yes. All the time. Some are polite and ask for a phone number while others straight out ask "How Much?" I always respectfully decline :)
Q: What's the crudest thing a guy has ever said to you?
A: "Show me your ass hole" and "I think it's so sexy that you have a pooch on your belly".
Q: Do a lot of strippers really do drugs?
A: In my club...NO! We are good girls. Of course there are some in other clubs that do, but usually the club owners handle it and hire classy girls who are dancing for the right reasons.
Q: Do you have to be tested for STD's?
A: No.
Q: What are girl customers like?
A: They're fun...but they try to get away with a lot. They always try to reach up on stage and touch us. They don't tip very well because they are usually too self involved...they don't pay much attention to what's going on on stage.
Q: What is your overhead?
A: The standard is to pay the DJ 10% and the bounder 5%. It's a courtesy....not a requirement.
Q: How has the economy affected your business?
A: It has actually impacted it a great deal. More people are staying home to drink vs. going out where the drinks are expensive. And most of our clients are blue collared workers who are struggling right now.
Q: Can you write off beauty enhancements?
A: Yes. I can write off anything I do to enchance my appearance. Hair treatments, teeth whitening, tanning...
Q: What is the most you've ever made in one night?
A: $360.
Q: How are you going to explain your job to your daughter?
A: She's only 3 right now, but I will explain it to her appropriate to her age. I am able to stay home with her all day and go to work when she is asleep. She doesn't even know I'm gone.
Q: So you're more like a house wife?
A: Yes! I am a mother and a wife first and a dancer second. I do all the same things that every house wife does. I cook, clean, worry about bills, save money to buy bigger clothes for my growing daughter. I have a family, a mortgage, two dogs, and a picket fence. I am just like every other wife and mother.
Q: Final question. What kind of music do you like to dance to?
A: I love rock, but if there is a hip hop crowd, I'll cater to them.
Q: What does your husband think of your profession?
A: He loves it! He says it gives him a ego boost to know that he has something that so many men want. He's the only one who knows what it's like to actually sleep with me.
Q: What is your average take home each night you work?
A: It depends on how many dancers are working, what mood I'm in, ect. But on average I make between $150-$200/night for a 7 hour shift. I've heard that dancers actually make more money when they're ovulating.
Q: What are some of the Utah laws and rules for strip clubs and dancers?
A: We can only dance on stage in an alcohol serving bar. All clubs must have front rails to protect the dancer from the customer. We must stay 3 ft away from customers at all times. Pasties must be worn at all times and cover the entire areola. No g-strings.
Q: Do guys ever hit on you?
A: Yes. All the time. Some are polite and ask for a phone number while others straight out ask "How Much?" I always respectfully decline :)
Q: What's the crudest thing a guy has ever said to you?
A: "Show me your ass hole" and "I think it's so sexy that you have a pooch on your belly".
Q: Do a lot of strippers really do drugs?
A: In my club...NO! We are good girls. Of course there are some in other clubs that do, but usually the club owners handle it and hire classy girls who are dancing for the right reasons.
Q: Do you have to be tested for STD's?
A: No.
Q: What are girl customers like?
A: They're fun...but they try to get away with a lot. They always try to reach up on stage and touch us. They don't tip very well because they are usually too self involved...they don't pay much attention to what's going on on stage.
Q: What is your overhead?
A: The standard is to pay the DJ 10% and the bounder 5%. It's a courtesy....not a requirement.
Q: How has the economy affected your business?
A: It has actually impacted it a great deal. More people are staying home to drink vs. going out where the drinks are expensive. And most of our clients are blue collared workers who are struggling right now.
Q: Can you write off beauty enhancements?
A: Yes. I can write off anything I do to enchance my appearance. Hair treatments, teeth whitening, tanning...
Q: What is the most you've ever made in one night?
A: $360.
Q: How are you going to explain your job to your daughter?
A: She's only 3 right now, but I will explain it to her appropriate to her age. I am able to stay home with her all day and go to work when she is asleep. She doesn't even know I'm gone.
Q: So you're more like a house wife?
A: Yes! I am a mother and a wife first and a dancer second. I do all the same things that every house wife does. I cook, clean, worry about bills, save money to buy bigger clothes for my growing daughter. I have a family, a mortgage, two dogs, and a picket fence. I am just like every other wife and mother.
Q: Final question. What kind of music do you like to dance to?
A: I love rock, but if there is a hip hop crowd, I'll cater to them.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Pajama Jam!
Tonight I'm going to a "Ritzy" Valentine's Day party with my husband. The hostess of the party is one of my clients who has loads of money to throw around. I don't think I'm sophisticated enough to attend the party...but what the hell. She invited me, so she's going to have to deal with the consequences.
We're supposed to wear lingerie and the men are supposed to wear boxers...I'm thinking that the pair of us will show up in matching flannels :)
We're supposed to wear lingerie and the men are supposed to wear boxers...I'm thinking that the pair of us will show up in matching flannels :)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Lap dance to a better marriage.
Most women think that sensual dancing is not dancing. House wives go on the defense anytime the word "stripper" is brought up. Exotic dancers have a secret that all wives should know. They have unlocked the art of seductive dancing. It may be the most important style of dance that could possibly save your marriage. Men want to be seduced. I don't know of any man who prefers his wife to be on her back, in the dark, with a t-shirt, and arm pit smell. They want to be seduced!!!
Long before hip hop, jazz, ballet...there were women dancing for their men to arouse their senses and get ready to do the dirty deed :)
I think a lot of wives could learn a thing or two from exotic dancers. They are beautiful, they smell good, they move like the water running down a stream, they are exotic! So tonight...pull your hair down, put on the good lotion, find a great song, and bump and grind your man while flipping your hair in his face. I actually recommend going to the strip club with some girl friends. With an open mind, you will learn more in one hour than all the sex books made in the last decade.
Like momma always said. Be a lady in the street and a slut in the bed :) NOTE: Strippers are not sluts...but you know what I mean.
*I am not a dancer...but I sometimes envy the power they have :)
Miss Pole Dance Utah 2009!
Hey everyone!
I'm going be hosting Miss Pole Dance Utah 2009 at the Davis Conference Center in Layton, Utah. Expect to see the most athletic women do the most acrobatic moves ever attempted on a vertical pole.
Spectator tickets are $20 for general admission or $35 for V.I.P. I hope to see my famliy and friends come out and support this competition. Most of you have never been to my studio or seen me dance....this is your chance :)
I am putting together a website as we speak. I'll update you later :)
Peace, love, and dance!!!
I'm going be hosting Miss Pole Dance Utah 2009 at the Davis Conference Center in Layton, Utah. Expect to see the most athletic women do the most acrobatic moves ever attempted on a vertical pole.
Spectator tickets are $20 for general admission or $35 for V.I.P. I hope to see my famliy and friends come out and support this competition. Most of you have never been to my studio or seen me dance....this is your chance :)
I am putting together a website as we speak. I'll update you later :)
Peace, love, and dance!!!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Free money!
Did you know that if you are a single mom with three kids you can get free money? That's right you can get free housing, free day care, free health insurance, free groceries, free utilities, AND now free money!!!!???
What the fuck? Why is it that a free loading member of society who only worked for two months in 2008 got a $4600 tax return? AND THEN bought a plasma T.V. with that money.
I'm telling you what! If I don't at least get $4600, I'm gonna shout at the top of my lungs. My husband works 40 hours a week, I own a small business and employ 13 people. We only have one kid and we are all covered under health insurance that we pay for. I pay with my own cash at the grocery store...and I have to watch how full I fill the bath tub...because I know that I will have to pay for the water I use. So, if I don't get "rewarded" for my families hard work...I'm going to be one pissed off bitchy lady. And the free loaders had better watch out.
*I understand that people need a helping hand every once in a while. I happen to have two friends who are on polar opposite ends of the welfare game. One is abusing it, and one is using it as a stepping stone for a better life. When using the welfare system...please keep in mind that you are spending my money. So use it wisely!
What the fuck? Why is it that a free loading member of society who only worked for two months in 2008 got a $4600 tax return? AND THEN bought a plasma T.V. with that money.
I'm telling you what! If I don't at least get $4600, I'm gonna shout at the top of my lungs. My husband works 40 hours a week, I own a small business and employ 13 people. We only have one kid and we are all covered under health insurance that we pay for. I pay with my own cash at the grocery store...and I have to watch how full I fill the bath tub...because I know that I will have to pay for the water I use. So, if I don't get "rewarded" for my families hard work...I'm going to be one pissed off bitchy lady. And the free loaders had better watch out.
*I understand that people need a helping hand every once in a while. I happen to have two friends who are on polar opposite ends of the welfare game. One is abusing it, and one is using it as a stepping stone for a better life. When using the welfare system...please keep in mind that you are spending my money. So use it wisely!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Back on
Okay. So I had to shut down my blog for a little bit. But it's up again. Hip hooray...or as my three year old says "Hipee ewe ray".
Anyway, I've had so many blog ideas, but now I can't think of any. So I guess I'll just do a recap of the past few months.
Decided to open a new studio in Layton
Decided to not open a new studio in Layton
Went to Jenny's baby shower
Jenny had her baby
I fell in love with my husband all over again
Got annoyed by a few of my employees
Put up a classified ad for the annoying dog I found
Took off the classified ad for the same annoying dog
Decided he wasn't so bad
Starting to tap into journalism about the world of sex
My first story is about a stripper/housewife who is trying to get pregnant
Discovered one my most talented teachers is pregnant (not the same person)
Took my daughter for the first bike ride of the year
And now I'm writing about nothing
Anyway, I'm still naughty and nice...so don't be surprised by anything.
Whaaaaaa ha ha...I'm back!
Anyway, I've had so many blog ideas, but now I can't think of any. So I guess I'll just do a recap of the past few months.
Decided to open a new studio in Layton
Decided to not open a new studio in Layton
Went to Jenny's baby shower
Jenny had her baby
I fell in love with my husband all over again
Got annoyed by a few of my employees
Put up a classified ad for the annoying dog I found
Took off the classified ad for the same annoying dog
Decided he wasn't so bad
Starting to tap into journalism about the world of sex
My first story is about a stripper/housewife who is trying to get pregnant
Discovered one my most talented teachers is pregnant (not the same person)
Took my daughter for the first bike ride of the year
And now I'm writing about nothing
Anyway, I'm still naughty and nice...so don't be surprised by anything.
Whaaaaaa ha ha...I'm back!
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