Pole Move

Here's a move for all of you moms to try while you're at the playground with the kiddies.
It's called the "chopper".
Basically you are going to go upside down and fan your legs out like so:

This is really good for the arms, legs, and stomach.

Now get off your butt and hit up your neighborhood playground!

Things I want to remeber

My mom is constantly noticing things in my daughter that reminder her of me when I was little. I would like to put Evan's quirks on paper so that I might return to them when I have grandchildren and remember the cute phases that happen:

*Singing Rascal Flats "Every Day" at the top of her lungs in the back seat of the car
*Constantly putting her hand down my shirt and pinching my...well you know. It hurts and I constantly tell her to stop, but she won't.
*Thinking that bum bum dancing is just like doing belly dancing
*Using her tricycle as a stool and then falling off causing a huge scratch on her tummy that has scarred that will probably stay with her her whole life
*Making me sing the ABC's every night before bed as well as asking her what every animal known to man says. "What does the duck say?" "Quack"..."What does the Rooster Say" "Cock-a-doo-da-doo"
*Riding her dog Sassy like a horse
*Calling my car hers
*Only wanting to listen to one song on the radio "I kissed a girl"....very inappropriate for a three year old girl.
*Sleeping with mom and dad until.....well....I guess I don't know when that will stop
*She has an awful studder that is always at it's worst when she start to say "I don't, I don, I doe, I doe, I doe, I doe, I doe, I doe want it!
*Picking her nose and only giving the boogers to her dad, never mom. Thank god!
*Calling her Grandma Nielsen her Grandma Forsey (horsey, but she puts an "f" in front.
*Wow this is getting really long
*Calling finger nail polish her "pretties"
*Putting on bright red lip gloss before she'll leave the house
*Racing da da up the stairs while cutting him off like a race car driver
*Telling me to hide when she goes potty...I still have never seen her go to the bathroom.

Anyway, that's my cute girl!

I went to church today

I haven't been to church in over two years. I don't particularly enjoy it nor do I like the people who inhabit the space. Okay, not all the people. Mainly those over 60 who have tunnel vision.

And today reaffirmed my dislike for the LDS chruch (mormon).

Before I get into the nasties, let me tell you why I went.

My mother decided to take my three year old daughter to the church in her neighborhood. My daughter talked about her experience for the next two weeks. She recited songs that were sang, games that were played, and manners that I forgot were supposed to be taught. She learned how to introduce herself to people (shaking hands & saying hi). She learned a song about cleaning up, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider song.

She loved it! So I decided that I could sit through two hours of torture so that she could have her fun.

I got to church today, dropped Evan off to her primary class, and went to find a couch to start reading a book that my sister in law lent me weeks ago.

I was bombarded by my old boss who was now a ward missionary.

"Meagan! How are you? Are you in this ward? I haven't ever seen you here. Has it been a while? Why don't you come sit with my wife and I? You'll love it!"

What could I say?

I sat through that class and let me tell you....it was the most boring hour of my life. Not only was it boring, the people in the class were so closed minded...it would make any out-of-stater scream!

The discussion was about growing your spiritual seed like you would grow a tree seed. One man actually said "You need to take care of your seed, but you also need to protect it from those who will try to steal your seed. Crows are known to steal seeds after they are planted. Non believers are like crows. They will steal your spirit."

A non-believer is not trying to steal your "seed". They are simply non-believers. It is totally possible to have a wonderful friendship with someone who is not of faith.

Most of the people in class carried on the topic of non-believers. They are sent by Satan to oppose those who are trying to live the faith.

I am not sent by Satan. I am another person put on this earth to live, learn, and make my own choices. Nobody was put here by Satan to attack the Mormons. Okay, there are truly evil people on this earth who might have been sent by Satan, but I doubt that the neighbor next door who refuses the missionaries and watches football on Sunday's was really sent by Satan.

Give me a freakin' break.

Maybe I'll consider being an active member in the church when they update thier policies on tolerance and acceptance. In other words: Stop trying to change me. Don't look at me like you're better than me. Don't talk dirt on those who live alternative lives. Understand that there are beautiful people who will never step foot in the church...and that's okay...it's their lives. AND maybe you don't know better than me. Maybe those who live a different lifestyle are actually happier and more fullfilled than you are.

Anyway, I will go back next Sunday because my daughter made a friend :)

Thanks for letting me vent. If I actually said any of that stuff in church, they wouldn't let me in ever again...and my daughter really needs to make new friends :0

Pictures of the week

I took my daughter to SLC on the Front Runner train. We visited the Build A Bear Workshop where I spent over $50 for a stuffed bear.....worth every penny. She carries it everywhere and loves to dress it up in outfits.

Evan helped Brandon mow the lawn:

I tried out a new hair style courtesy of http://shedoeshair.blogspot.com/.

Adding a new family member!!!!

Arrow down to learn more about our exciting surprise!

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JUST KIDDING!

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Meet Max!

We got him from Ogden City Animal Shelter. He is a 1 year old handsome pit bull.

He was found wandering the streets of Ogden. The police were called. When they arrived, Max came running after them. They raised their guns and almost shot....had it not been for a child watching. So, the police officers got in their car and called animal control.

The animal control officer came ready to tranqualize the "out of control pit bull".

When she arrived, Max ran to her and gave her lots of big kisses. He would have done the same to the police officers if given the chance.

He wouldn't hurt a fly!

Anyway, we found him curled up in the back of his cage at the shelter. He didn't want to be petted, but I was persistant. I knew that I was probably the only crazy person who would think of adopting the mean looking dog confined to one corner of his cage.

But I walked in there and petted him for a while and he decided to come out for a walk.

My husband was with me. He didn't like the idea at first because we have such terrible luck with dogs....but I knew "Big Papa" was the one (that's the name they gave him)

I had to leave him to go get my female pit bull named Sassy to see if they got along. He was very upset that I was leaving him. It took three people to get him back in his cage.

Above: Sassy
To make a long story short, they got along and he is at home with us :) He continues to attempt to mark his territory. I dicipline him but my husband doesn't dare to yet....he could eat him alive!

Here are some more photos of Max playing in his new back yard:

Pictures of the show

Last week, me and my group called "Tickled me Trashy" performed at a local club called Rumors. It was a blast...here are the pictures:

Don' t be jealous

So last night I performed with my pole dancing group called "Tickle me Trashy". We performed a really sexy pole routine followed by an amateur contest for anyone in the bar. It was really fun.

At the end of the night, my friend was hit on by another man. Her husband didn't give her 5 seconds to diffuse the situation. He was instantly attacking the poor guy. Ten seconds later, my husband was right up there in the middle of it trying to break up the fight.

A security guard (bug, buff guy) grabbed my friends husband under the arm pit and body slammed him to the ground.

I stayed away from the situation hoping that the guys would work it out without any women interference. Three minutes later, the jealous husband was still on the ground in a choke hold and there was blood all over the security guard.

So, me being the curious creature that I am...went over to check it out. The security guard had knocked out one of his own teeth while body slamming the 6 foot 7" jealous husband. AND my husband wouldn't get out of the way. He kept trying to calm down the jealous husband, but he wasn't being very successful. So I took my husband away from the situation.

Anyway, I am so glad that I am not married to a man like this. So men....if your girl gets hit on by another man, here are some things to consider.

1. If your wife is getting hit on by a semi-attractive man, TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT.
2. Give your wife at least 30 seconds to let the guy down easy. Believe it or not, us women can usually take care of stuff like this without our men getting in the middle.
3. If you are at a bar or a club, you need to be extra sympathetic to the guys in the bar. Most of them are single and are looking for a girl. A bar is no place for jealous married people to hang out. Guys in the bar will assume that all women are single...sometimes they miss the ring.
4. If your wife doesn't handle the guy within the first 30 seconds...your marriage probably isn't that great....so get out of the bar and into marriage counseling.

Anyway, the bar provided us with professional hair and make up as well as a private photo shoot. When I get some pictures back, I will share :)

My Evan

Dear Evan,

You turned three years old this past week. I hated it! You are the most fun, beautiful, special little person I've ever met and I love the stage you are at right now. I could mommy you forever if you would only stay three years old.

You are such a little daddy's girl. Today, I came home from work only to find you and your daddy dancing to country music. He loves you and you are his everything.

My three wishes for you for your third birthday:

Be different - It's okay if you don't live in Utah your whole life, get married at 20 and have 2.5 kids. Explore this world and all it has to offer. Move to New York, dance on broadway, start a business, get to know yourself inside and out.

Be kind - The best compliment I ever got was from a girl I used to go to high school with. She went out of her way to find me and thank me for always being kind to her...even though she wasn't the least bit beautiful or popular. I want you to get that compliment every day of your life from everyone you meet. Be the person that everyone wants to befriend.

Remember who you are and where you come from - You come from a mom and dad who are crazy about you. You were born in a cool little town called Ogden. Your great grandparents cherish you and your grandma's would stab eachother in the back to get to spend the afternoon with you. Your mom loves animals and dance...your dad loves hunting and spending time with family. You are energetic, spunky, and bossy.

You're only three but I know that you will be someone great that will change lives and inspire your family and friends.

Happy birthday girlie! If you must grow, grow into something great.

I make a pretty mean tattoo

A little over a week ago, I took my business on the road to the Hot Rockin' 4th.

And guess what we were selling? Tattoo's! I found the most amazing temporarty tattoo's on e-bay and put them on everyone who paid me $3. Here's some of my favorites

Check back tomorrow for another post. I have lots of stuff to show...but I don't want to overwhelm the thousands of people who look at my blog...I'm kidding....I'm pretty sure that my sister-in-laws and maybe one other person actually look at my crap. So check back tomorrow to see my daughters birthday and our camping trip. After that, I will post some of my new pole moves.

Natural born killer

My husband was cleaning out the basement yesterday and found his hunting gun. He held it up to his shoulder a few times...I don't know why he did it, I guess it's just a guy thing. Maybe he was checking his "gun holding skills".

So he cleaned it up a bit and then put it back in the closet.

Five minutes later, I come down stairs to see my sweet daughter doing this with a vacuum attachment:

God help me!