I haven't told anyone about my husband leaving me. I have been too ashamed and embarassed. Lots of tears shed crying to myself and my dogs ;) I finally told my mom this morning and I feel so much better! I can't do this by myself and I realize that.
Yesterday I posted a blog saying that I would wait for my husband to fall back in love with me. And you know what? It's bull shit that I should have to settle for someone who isn't in love with me and who isn't physically attracted to me in hopes that he will "change his mind". I am a strong woman. I own my own business, I take care of myself, and I think I deserve nothing but the best.
So I'm not going to settle and wait around for someone who isn't crazy about me.
Yesterday, he informed me that he wants the house. Isn't that interesting? He is the one who wants a divorce and now he wants my family home. I didn't ask for a divorce but now I'm the one who has to live without a husband AND move out of the home I have remodeled, loved, and cared for.
So I am going apartment hunting in downtown Ogden today. I've always dreamed of living in a large city with no yard and honking horns out my bedroom window (really). Ogden isn't a big city....but it is a city.
I'm excited for the future but sad about the past. I know I'm only on day four of the separation/divorce...but I feel like I'm going to be much happier :) I shouldn't settle for someone who is reluctant to be with me. It has been a 6 year fight to try to make him be passionate about me and I'm done! I'm tired of watching happy couples hold hands and kissing in public. It hurts.
The hardest part is going to be watching our daughter live the way we grew up. I never thought that my daughter would grow up with divorced parents.
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