Too many tears

Hello everyone!

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day. Mine was fantastic minus all of the freaking tears.

We woke up late and I made breakfast. My mother-in-law was kind enough to give me the secret family recipe and my husband bought me the necessary kitchen tools to make them. My first ten totally sucked, but the last three were great :)

Anyway, we stayed in the house for a while and watched some movies. I can't remember what the first one was, but I cried so hard. Oh wait! It was Reservation Road. If you want to cry many tears, get it.

Then my daughter and I went to my mom's to wish her a happy Mother's Day. She gave me a gift certificate for dirt (rock, topsoil, mulch) and some belly button rings. My brothers and I went in on an i-pod for her. She called it a walk man when she opened it. Funny !

Then I decided to take a trip to my cousin Jessica's. I walked in the door and Jenny was at the top of the steps. (FYI Jenny was on meth, went on t.v.show Intervention, went to rehab, dropped out). So this was the first time that I had seen her since the Intervention. It was sad.

I got to witness her giving her mom a mothers day gift. She gave her an unwrapped rechargable flash light. It was used. But she was very sincere, and I could tell that it was all she could do. It broke my heart. The old Jenny would have hand crafted something from wood, metal, fabric, and paint. Wrapped it up in something beautiful presented with a card.

But the new Jenny isn't capable of that anymore. She is still on drugs, but I think her new mental status comes from too much Meth and Heroine. Even if she gets clean, I think her brain has suffered too greatly. She is gone.

So on my car ride home, I sobbed for her. I truly feel sorry for her. At the Intervention, I told her that if she didn't get clean, I wouldn't speak to her any longer. Well, I just don't think I can do that. I believe Jenny is now mentally declining and she will eventually die from her disease. So I am going to make every effort to spend time with her.

I feel kind of lucky. It's as if I have warning of her death. I get to tell her all the things that I want. I get to cherish the moments with her knowing that they may be the last.

Anyway....so it was a sad afternoon.

Then I came home and watched another awfully sad show called "P.S. I love you". Oh my god, I thought the first show was bad, but this one was a doozy. I have never cried so hard over a movie in my life. If you are married to someone you love with all of your heart, you need to rent this show.