Date Night

My husband is an avid deer hunter...and this next week is his week to go do his thing. He will be gone for six days. I used to be overly dramatic when he would leave. I would cry and hug him for several minutes. Since then, I have grown up and realized that I need him gone just as much as he needs to be gone.

Without him home, I can finally clean without back tracking. I can spend girl time with my friends, and get caught up on my lesson plans for dance.

Tonight, we're going to a movie. I really want to see "Good luck Chuck". My husbands mom will be watching Teenie E. since my mom hasn't been interested in grandmothering for a couple of months now.

You see, my mom is cheating on my step dad. Consequently, she is not emotionally available for mothering or grandmothering. Before her "mistress" came into her life, she was a fabulous grandmother. She was always willing to watch Teenie E. whenever I asked. She would take her for horse rides and on long walks down her street filled with hay fields. Now, she spends her time sneaking around telling lies so she can hang out with her new man. He's a real live cowboy. He owns a ranch and many head of horse.

My mom has always wanted to be a cowgirl, but could never land the right man to take her in that direction. Well, now she has and he's almost 65 years old (she's about 45).

Sometimes I think cheating runs in my blood. My dad did it to my mom and now my mom is doing it to my step dad. I often find myself thinking about it. But, unlike my mother and father...I am committed to my family. Period.

Anyway....thanks for listening again! I know my blog is random and I never talk about the same thing....hopefully you find that interesting. I am going to try leaving you with a positive and a negative everyday about my experience as a birth mother.

Positive: I got a second chance at "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." And you know what...I did it right!

Negative: This is harder than I thought. I guess I would have to say that the first week after the adoption was the most agonizing week of my life. I shouldn't have had to experience that amount of grief at such a young age. But, I got through it. I just had to remember that I wasn't the first birth mother to go through it...nor would I be the last.