Tip of the week

Pole beginners - When doing your spins, keep your arms stretched high. Try to hang all of your weight vs. trying to lift with your biceps. When you hang from your arms and creat a big "swoop" with your legs, you will enjoy a much smoother and faster spin. I try to make at least three rotations on all of my spins.


For the more advanced pole dancer - When trying a shoulder mount, pull on the pole as if you were trying to throw a 200 lb man over your shoulder. Shoulder mounting is about the arms and abs not about the legs.



Also, when doing any invert, try to avoid springing off of your leg or swinging into an invert. You will get more physical benefits if you use your core and your arms to lift yourself upside down. Momentum and swinging is like training wheels. Once you don't need them anymore, get rid of them and never go back!

Happy

I have been separated for a little over a week and I am truly the happiest I've ever been. My advice would be to not marry until you're at least 25. We got married when we were very young and I did not know who I really was. When I turned into my true self, my husband didn't like it. It's not his fault...but it is something that I couldn't contain any longer.

I'm glad he ended it because I would have lived that way for the rest of our lives....I didn't want to be the bad guy.

We plan to still do things together as a family for the sake of little Evan Jo.

I found a place!

I put a deposit down on a town home in the heart of Ogden Utah. It's in the Junction plaza. It's a brand new town home and I can see the megaplex theatre right from my bedroom window. I can walk to the children's museum, indoor skydiving center, rock climbing wall, perry's egyptian theatre, and so much more in under 2 minutes.

I am stoked! There are 3 bathrooms and two bedrooms and the place includes a washer and dryer and a dish washer. Those items were at the top of my want list.

If everything goes well I will move in this weekend!!!!!

I'll post pictures later today.

Don't walk all over me

I haven't told anyone about my husband leaving me. I have been too ashamed and embarassed. Lots of tears shed crying to myself and my dogs ;) I finally told my mom this morning and I feel so much better! I can't do this by myself and I realize that.

Yesterday I posted a blog saying that I would wait for my husband to fall back in love with me. And you know what? It's bull shit that I should have to settle for someone who isn't in love with me and who isn't physically attracted to me in hopes that he will "change his mind". I am a strong woman. I own my own business, I take care of myself, and I think I deserve nothing but the best.

So I'm not going to settle and wait around for someone who isn't crazy about me.

Yesterday, he informed me that he wants the house. Isn't that interesting? He is the one who wants a divorce and now he wants my family home. I didn't ask for a divorce but now I'm the one who has to live without a husband AND move out of the home I have remodeled, loved, and cared for.

So I am going apartment hunting in downtown Ogden today. I've always dreamed of living in a large city with no yard and honking horns out my bedroom window (really). Ogden isn't a big city....but it is a city.

I'm excited for the future but sad about the past. I know I'm only on day four of the separation/divorce...but I feel like I'm going to be much happier :) I shouldn't settle for someone who is reluctant to be with me. It has been a 6 year fight to try to make him be passionate about me and I'm done! I'm tired of watching happy couples hold hands and kissing in public. It hurts.

The hardest part is going to be watching our daughter live the way we grew up. I never thought that my daughter would grow up with divorced parents.

Operation "Get my husband back"

I'm still not sure why he left. Sure, I have a strange job which I love...but I cook, clean, and I love him and the family and life we have.

I'm brainstorming ways to reel him back in. He always seems to respond well to jealousy, but it seems a bit juvenile. I could sit home every night and try to make him feel sorry for me, but what if he goes out all the time while I'm at home being pathetic.

After much thought, I think I'm just going to go about life as it comes and if he should decide to fall back in love with me, I will drop everything and go running back to my man. I don't think this will happen in weeks or months. I think he needs to experience single life so he can find what he really wants. If it's me, great...I'm here. If it's not me, I will have a new life that I will move forward with.

Operation get my husband back will probably take about a year if it is going to be done correctly. So I have put an ad online for a room mate and I have laid off some employees so I can make my house payment and stay in my home.

I will never divorce him without a fight.

Through all of this, my best friend is away for the next two weeks and I haven't told any of my other friends or family. I'm feeling pretty alone. I made one of my employees sleep at my house last night so I wouldn't be alone (yes it was a girl).

AAAAGH! I hate this!

Split

Snuggling in bed this morning with my husband, my daughter, and her pet rat. I embrace my husband for a few minutes and then ask the silly question "Do you love me?"

He replies, "I've been meaning to talk to you about that....I am not in love with you anymore."

So he is packing his bags right now and then it's off to his Mommy's house.

It's hard...I'm still in love and I feel like I got completely blind sided. I'm numb right now...don't know what the next step is.

The big offer

Okay, so I was vague earlier. I had an investor approach me about franchising my business. He would like to franchise it to 10-15 stores across the nation and then turn around and sell it in three years. His company would supply all the money needed to set up that many dance studio's. All he asks from me is that I train the teachers and managers while also traveling to each location and getting each store running efficently for 2-3 weeks at a time.

He has done this to a very well known hotel chain...and it worked. He made more money in that deal than I care to think about.

I know the investor pretty well and he is very excited about my business and the kind of profit it could make. He is a very good friend of the mayor of my town.

I was very excited the first few days about making 6-7 digits per year...and then I came back down to earth. I know that I could be wealthy with my business. Pole fitness is on the rise and there is much money to be made.

However, the more I thought about it, I couldn't help but think that I would be hurting myself, my family, and my love for dance. If I were to just do the business aspect of it and stop teaching, choreographing, and interacting with my teachers and students...I would go crazy.

I haven't given the investor an answer yet, but I'm leaning toward opening a few more studio's in nearby counties with one of my friends. That way, I can still put my personal touch on everything while spending time with my family and keeping my sanity.

I don't know what to do! What does everyone else think??? Big money franchise or mom and pop dance studio????